he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
