I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
