don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
