Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
