but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
