good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
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and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
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Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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