She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
