I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
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Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
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me + whiskey = a bad person
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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