These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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