how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
