Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize