he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
