I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
