I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
