I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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