how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
