Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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