We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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