I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just had sex on a roof
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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