You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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