Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
