the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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