Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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