Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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