The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
