Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
