Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
