so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
