I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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