It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize