Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
