He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
