Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
