sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
