she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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