i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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