M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
