3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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