apparently the secret to your success is patron
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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