he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize