I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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