Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sponge bath it is.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
