I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
