So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
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