About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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