ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
