Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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