the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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