I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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