I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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