I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My cat gives me a boner
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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