I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize