Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
