Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
