I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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