So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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