And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
