I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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