I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
soo... how was my night?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
